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I am not going to start with the "I told you so"
speech as we have all at one time or another (with possibly the exception of a
small ginger cider-drinking New Labour-ite) been spun a yarn by one or more of
the "dirty half dozen" when we have questioned their judgement or ability
to run a football club or the apparent lack of financial management and come out
thinking that things weren’t so bad really. The truth is that this club
had been run by people with possibly the best intentions at heart until the pound
signs got bigger, leading to some decisions that in any normal business circumstances
would have been seen as suicidal. Some were smart and jumped a sinking ship to
preserve what was left of their own personal finances and reputations. The truth
is we will probably never know the true financial state this club is in, and has
been in since its move to Kingsmeadow in 1989. We have all been hoodwinked at
some stage or another by the few who really knew the mess the club was in (not
always the members of the board).
For Chris Kelly and others to spin the line that the turning
down of the proposals at the shareholders’ meeting (regarding share transfer
and CVA completion) as being for "the best interests of the club" is
a slap in the face to any decent Kingstonian fan. How can the rejection of what
was a chance of salvation for the club have been rejected be in it’s best
interests? The feeling I get is that Mr Kelly & Co were caught cold by Mr
Khosla and don't like their faces being rubbed in it. Is it because they couldn't
find any more of their inner circle to bail them out this time? Is it the fact
that Geoff Chapple and then Steve Sedgley were more popular with the fans than
him/them? Or is it just a personal issue with Mr Khosla?
Now we get to the stage where Mr Khosla decides that AFC Wimbledon
are too appealing to resist and sells Kingsmeadow to them. Whether we would or
would not have reached the same scenario had he achieved ownership of the club
we will never know. What we do know for sure, however, is that Mr Khosla can’t
really be interested in the club then and so once again the people at the helm
have let us down. The truth of the matter is that this was all triggered off by
going into administration. The consolation is that the previous regime didn’t
manage to flog the ground off to Wimbledon (franchise) FC – AFC Wimbledon
have assured us of being genuine and sympathetic landlords.
So to the future - what does it hold? Nobody knows, but lets
hope that Nick Hood and Mr Khosla can come up with another way of getting us around
this ongoing administration/CVA problem. Meanwhile it is us supporters that get
left wondering and cheering on a team who despite all the troubles has (at the
time of writing) lost less games than every other team bar one, scored plenty
of goals and generally offering us hope on the field. We salute all those who
have taken part in footballing matters this season and hope that those involved
in the off-field activities can just give us a chance to do what this club does
best come next April - win football matches.
Richard
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PLAYER OF THE YEAR 2002/03
Yes. It’s Murphy again. So anyone with a dislike of
tortuous sentence construction, pious pontification & half-baked theories
based on NO experience of playing football at any credible level had better look
away now…
I’m tempted to be a tart on this (nothing new there,
I hear you cry). Because the temptation is there not to bother with “Player
of the Year” recommendations. Not because it’s the foregone conclusion
of last year. But because any player who’s regularly put on the hoops in
this God-forsaken horlicks of a season deserves all the plaudits available. So
it seems unfair to differentiate between the players. But, hey, life’s unfair.
And Ali needs a couple of pages filled, so here goes.
Goalkeepers: Adrian Jones’ K’s career has taken
an up-swing this season. Although, ANY swing from Croydon away last season would
be up. His appearances have been limited to cups & horrible midweek away trips
to Essex. And he has still been unused sub about 94 times. But… Actually
there IS no but. His pen picture refers to him “floating” around the
non-league scene before he came to K’s (I wrote that! - ed). He’s
still floating. Lance Key, meanwhile, has ranged from some very wobbly displays
(& that’s just his stomach… no, NO!!) to “England’s
number one.” He hasn’t matched last year. But he couldn’t. No-one
could have two perfect seasons in a row, whatever the level. K’s have been
particularly lucky with their goalkeepers over the years. A string of quality
custodians… & Adrian Blake. Lance Key is right up there with the best
of them.
Defenders: It’s been a season of injured or suspended
centre-backs & schoolboy or schoolboy-looking full-backs. When Mark Jones
was put on stand-by for the England team the other month, “What England
team, the Conkers team?” was among the politer comments. And his best moments
were going forward (it was HIS goal at Canvey). Max Hustwick’s best moments
are, I’m sure, not too far away. There’s a good player in there somewhere.
And there’s also a settled centre-half pairing in this squad somewhere.
But good luck has been a distant cousin of anyone wearing the number five or six
shirt. Indeed “flitter” & “barnsby” are soon to enter
the Oxford English Dictionary with the definition “injury-prone.”
I think if Matt Elverson was being honest with himself, he wouldn’t have
expected so many first-team opportunities. I’m sure he would have envisaged
something more along the lines of reserve team manager. Indeed, next season, I
can imagine him taking our reserve team from strength to strength as they advance
up the Suburban League… ah, hang on… And then we get one good strong
centre-half & he gets himself a job in Liverpool. Liverpool?? Was it something
that we said?! We can only wish Chris Whelan well, even when he scores a winning
goal against us in the FA Trophy in a few years time. It’ll happen.
Midfielders: It all started so promisingly. At St Albans he
was little short of magnificent. Tackling back, distribution, drive, energy. It
was all there. But by Christmas, it was the old joke. We’d suspended the
“golden goal” competition & replaced it with the “golden
Craig Lewington booking” competition. And no point in selling tickets 65
to 90. The foul which got him sent off after 44 minutes at home to Boreham Wood
still makes many K’s fans shudder. Even the 200 or so who were in the bar
at the time. Dave Clarke hasn’t had the best of seasons, either. Watching
Lewington misplace another five-yard pass sometimes made you wonder how bad Clarke’s
injuries had to be to keep him out of the side. But there’s still time.
He HAS come good in recent weeks. Although, the winner in that category has to
be one James Pinnock esq. A couple of masterful centre-forward displays aside,
the first half of his season was only one notch above a write-off. But the last
couple of months have seen him display the sort of form we’ve a right to
expect from someone who was getting a regular game in the Nationwide First Division
with Gillingham a few short years ago. Liam Collins’ season has gone pretty
much the other way. The star of the goal of the season competition which K’s
were holding amongst themselves in September (his strike at St Albans is still
in second place in my opinion), Collins suffered from playing so close to the
dugout as Steve Sedgley at last found his voice as a manager. His confidence seems
to have only slowly re-built under Kim Harris. Bashiru Alimi has had a confidence
injection since his solid but tentative displays last season. Goals, too. And
some nifty displays at left-back (Billericay). And the youngsters – they
mostly still ARE youngsters, lest we forget – can’t but learn from
playing alongside the likes of Scott Steele, possibly Steve Sedgley’s best-ever
signing. You can see that the Conference is probably a bit busy & physical
for Steele now. But boy can he do a job for us. Touch, vision, class. The sort
of stuff you never lose.
Forwards: I’m old enough to remember the days when my
grandmother could head the ball better than Phil Wingfield. And she’d been
dead twenty years. But this season, the “rare headed goal”, like the
“rare right-footed shot”, has become “trademark.” His
determination to get through half of Maidenhead to score with his head there last
October underpinned that whole crazy comeback. And his goal against Sutton assures
him of his place in K’s history (if I ever get round to writing the bloody
thing – episode 94). While his goal at Leatherhead a couple of weeks back
just looked odd, coming as it did from his left-foot. Greg Ball will be a star
at this level, if he makes a full physical & psychological recovery from his
very early season injury. But this is Tim Sills’ World. Everyone else just
lives in it. You might have been wondering which goal I rate as best of the season
after I placed Liam Collins’ goal at Clarence Park in second place. In which
case you didn’t see the home game against Basingstoke. Injuries & daft
suspensions looked to have denied him the 30 goals he promised us this season.
But now I’m not so sure. And his “long march” to the dressing
room after his sending-off against Sutton in January will live long in the memory.
Especially when he showed so much consideration in a pressurised situation to
remind Sutton fans, in the most graphic way possible, that K’s were 2-1
up.
Mentioned in despatches: Matt Bradford, Grant Payne, Ronnie
Green, Scott Edgar & the others I’m bound to have missed out because
I’m ten minutes away from the printing deadline have all played their part.
And if things go well off the field, I’m very much looking forward to Sills
& Grant Payne as a striking duo. More than just a headline writer’s
dream (especially in the Bryco Cup). But, of course, it is all about things going
well off the field. Pretty far from certain as I type this, eight minutes away
from the printing deadline. But I can’t believe that between us all, we
can’t ensure that this season’s fabulous efforts in dreadful circumstances
don’t go to waste. K’s supporters may rightly feel that we deserve
better than what has happened over the last three years. But so do Kim Harris
& his team. To them, many thanks.
Mark
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AYLESBURY
Aylesbury United FC,
The Stadium,
Buckingham Road,
Aylesbury,
Bucks HP20 2AQ
CC: Buckinghamshire County Council Trading Standards,
CC: The Secretary of Aylesbury Rugby Club
22 January 2003
Dear Sirs,
May I firstly apologise for writing to you all in the same
letter, but I thought it easier if we all know where each other stands.
Dear Mr Trading Standards,
I would like to report Aylesbury United Football Club for false advertising. Have
you ever seen them ‘play’? I can assure you, it’s definitely
not ‘Football’. Secondly, ‘United’; their back four were
all over the place – far from ‘United’. Not wanting to get Aylesbury
‘United Football’ Club in too much trouble, I have helpfully come
up with a useful alternative;
Dear Mr Secretary of Aylesbury Rugby Club,
Having seen Aylesbury ‘United Football’ Club play recently, I can
honestly tell you that they are not actually a football club. They played far
too physically and some of the challenges were horrific, especially the Number
2. However, all is not lost. Could you please provide us all with details on how
to switch codes and amalgamate Aylesbury ‘United Football’ Club with
Aylesbury Rugby Club to create the great Aylesbury United Rugby Club. With a bit
of training, the aforementioned Number 2 could become a useful little hooker.
Dear Mr Secretary of Aylesbury ‘United Football’
Club,
I’m sorry it’s come to this. I hope your new Rugby club will prosper.
Please can you send me a set of fixtures when they come out, I’d like to
attend a game even if it is the wrong shaped ball. I understand the deadline for
resigning from the Ryman League is coming up soon, I’d hurry if I were you.
If you like I could help you compose a letter to Mr Turvey.
I hope this has been helpful,
Derek Marcus Vin
Quack Quack
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WEAVING WITH PAULO DE SOUZA
WIAO caught up with former K’s midfielder Paulo De
Souza at the recent demolition derby with Sutton…
WIAO: Paulo, it’s been some years since we say you here
at Kingsmeadow…
Paulo: Back in season 1994/95 was when I played here.
WIAO: How did you come about playing for Kingstonian?
Paulo: I had a Brazilian friend over here who tried to take me to Fulham but I
had problems with my paperwork as I was here on a student visa. So, he said that
he knew another team in nearby Kingston where I might be able to play. And so
it was.
WIAO: What are your best memories about those days?
Paulo: The fans - they were lovely and always gave me their support. We, as players,
need it all the time.
WIAO: You had a few problems with the language when you came
here, didn't you?
Paulo: Yeah, unfortunately I didn't speak English but managed to pick it up eventually.
WIAO: After you left the club you moved to Australia. How did
that come about?
Paulo: I married an Australian and we went out to live there. Unfortunately we
separated some months ago, but we're still friends - we've got to be as we've
got two lovely kids and they deserve our full love.
WIAO: What part of Australia?
Paulo: I live in the state of Victoria, about 500 kilometres from Melbourne. It's
a massive country, a bit like Brazil in that respect.
WIAO: And you've been playing football over there too?
Paulo: I had injury problems after I left here and didn't play for two years,
but I managed to eventually get fit and spent three years as player/coach at my
local club. It’s just a shame that football isn’t a big sport in Australia
as you play it for just seven months in the year and do nothing for the rest of
it.
WIAO: Is the top level there equivalent to the semi-pro game
here then?
Paulo: The top level is ok. It's fast, but very different as it's so dry out there.
The way I see it I think that Kingstonian would be able to cope professionally
out there.
WIAO: So what bring you back here today?
Paulo: The memories. The memories I have from here are wonderful. Unfortunately
I had some problems with Chris Kelly - everybody did. But that doesn't matter
now.
WIAO: It didn’t take long for you to get recognised…
Paulo: I've been able to see the supporters again and it makes me very happy that
some of them still recognise me. Seeing the players I played with was great too
- Phil (Wingfield) and Eddie Akuamoah.
WIAO: You picked an incident-filled game...
Paulo: Yeah, it was a good game. I think Phil was one of the best players today.
He was substituted in the second half but I didn't think that he should have been.
Maybe it’s his age!
WIAO: Do you still follow the Kingstonian results?
Paulo: I buy the English papers sometimes and try to see their results and position.
When they played in the FA Cup 4th round here, I watched it live on TV in my house
and taped everything. I took it to show the guys at the club that this was where
I used to play! Unfortunately they lost but that's the way things go sometimes.
Our thanks to Paulo for talking to us and best wishes to
him back in Australia.
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LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE LADIES
AND GEORGE
“OK Roger darling. I am off to the game with the girls.
If you could manage to avoid getting the children killed that would be much appreciated.
There is some washing to do and the toilet is blocked. If you have time, there
is also a bit of ironing and the polishing to finish off. The girls and I will
be going for a drink after the game so I am not sure what time I will be home.
Please don’t lock me out”.
How times have changed! When I first started going to football
back in the dark ages, there was hardly a sight of a woman in a predominantly
male-dominated environment. Occasionally one of the directors would bring along
his wife or mistress to join the “blue rinse brigade” but in general
there was seldom a sighting of this rare species. Even David Attenborough would
have been hard pushed to find a female spectator.
So what happened? I think put simply, George Best happened.
Along came this good looking young man with the pop star appeal and all of a sudden,
the ladies wanted to go and watch his swivelling hips, along with quite a few
men too! He brought celebrity status to the game, which hitherto had been associated
primarily with roll up fags and a cup of Bovril. No, George changed it all. Football
became the star attraction and George was its biggest star. Suddenly you could
even hear screaming at a game and this was not just from the players hacked down
by Ron “Chopper” Harris or Norman “break yer legs” Hunter.
George brought the world of show business to our green and
sodden fields and the game was never quite the same again. The media followed
him like a dog on heat. Wherever George was, so were the girls closely followed
by the press. I know David Beckham is currently the centre of attention for the
media, but even David did not pull Miss World. At least not that we know of and
“Posh” could never be regarded as a contender for Miss World. Champagne,
money, women and incredible skill. George had the lot in abundance. I know that
he does not look too good now, but what a life. No arguments, George changed the
face of football in England. As an aside, he was also the finest player that I
ever saw, although I could be accused of bias as a United supporter.
Take a look around at the crowd now. Count the number of women.
Look at the change in styles of the players’ kits. Do you really think this
would have happened without the influence of the female population? If it were
still a male dominated environment, the players would be wearing ankle length
boots and wyncyette shirts. The football shirt is now a fashion item even if some
of the clubs do change them more frequently than Ken Osama Bin Laden’s residences.
So the male domination of our national game has been broken.
Karen Brady, the so-called blonde bimbo, has done an incredible job at Birmingham.
When she first came on the scene she was derided as an airhead by the male chauvinists
in the press. They would all remind the public that she was only in the job because
of her looks and the fact that her boss is a porn king. Never did quite figure
that one out! But look at Birmingham now. Surviving (at the time of writing) in
the Premiership and financially better off than most. Perhaps Karen should take
over the C.E.O. post at the FA as well, as they seem to be bankrupt both of money
and ideas.
Another great example of the change in the game is the increase
in the number of ladies football teams. Channel 4 used to show many of the major
league games and I became an occasional watcher of the game. High skill levels
with a lot of subtlety. No room for Vinnie Jones here! One day I was watching
a match and there was a tall blonde lady playing up front for Arsenal who possessed
a kick like a mule. I discovered her name was Marianne Spacey. For those of you
who do not know her, she bears an uncanny resemblance to a certain former Arsenal
and current Chelsea player. In fact I believe that Emmanuel Pettit modelled his
hairstyle on Marianne’s although he has since undergone a major transformation.
Perhaps so as not to be confused with Marianne? Marianne went on to both play
and captain the England side. I understand that she is now a sports development
officer in Hertfordshire and is probably a real star at that too. I am convinced
that she helped to make the ladies game a more attractive and financially viable
proposition.
And now the ladies are taking over the media too. I am certain
that I will now get hoots of derision, but I think that Gabby Logan is an excellent
television presenter with a very deep knowledge of the game. Probably a lot of
this is down to her father, although it should be said that, she is better at
her job than he ever was at his. Managing that is! On the radio we have Eleanor
Oldroyd, Susan Bookbinder and Sue Thearle, whilst Sky TV has Claire Tomlinson.
All of them are very knowledgeable about the game and also real fans. However
Susan Bookbinder does have the Achilles heel of following Manchester City. They
also all talk a great deal more sense than Jimmy Hill. But then, I suppose, so
do most 2 year olds. That reminds me, I saw Jimmy (the chin) Hill play. Now that
does make me feel old!
The final bastion of male supremacy (?) in the world of football
is also crumbling. We now have lady referees and assistant referees. Bearing in
mind that the majority of radio phone-ins seem to rely on discussions about duff
refereeing decisions, who is to say that the ladies will not make a better job
of it? It would be difficult to do worse! I was at a recent game in Harrogate
where the assistant referee was a young lady. I did think it was rather churlish
to make her run the line where there were no spectators. The folks in Yorkshire
are renowned for their blunt opinions and it is still the natural home of the
MCP. However, she did a cracking job and kept the crowd silent apart from a couple
of ignorant tossers. But then this is the county that allowed Lee Bowyer to continue
playing when he perhaps should have been incarcerated.
So as I said at the beginning, lets hear it for the ladies.
They have enhanced the levels of fashion, warmth and common sense in our game,
and, like it or not, they are here to stay. So, all chauvinists pick up thy beds
and walk.
Rory
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THE ALTERNATIVE END OF SEASON
AWARDS
Previous winners in brackets.
1. The shorthand notebook award for player no longer with the
club of the season (Phil Wingfield):
Graeme Tomlinson
2. The ceramic hippo award for sloppiest goal of the season
(Leon White home to Canvey):
Grant Payne at Purfleet
3. The I'm parked on a red route award for miss of the season
(Ronnie Green home to Braintree):
Danny Lavender (Leatherhead) failing to find the net from the penalty spot again
4. The rusty pelican award for celebration of the season (Joint
award - Dave Sadler at Bedford & Tim Sills home to St Albans):
Winning penalty at Leatherhead
5. The fridge magnet award for best haircut (Ronnie Green):
Tim Sills (we know he likes to do his hair…)
6. The glass fruit bowl award for the worst haircut (Ronnie
Green):
Kim Harris
7. The radio award for disappearing into obscurity (Simon Stewart):
Chris Kelly
8. The tree mug best away ground award (Carried over: Telford):
Grays – purely on bar/hospitality
9. The egg whisk worst away ground award (The Croydon 'Arena'):
Hampton
10. The car jack award for the friendliest away fans (Bedford):
Bedford
11. The BSE award for nicest burgers (Grays):
Ford
12. The colour photocopier nicest barmaids if you know what
I mean award (Kingstonian):
Leatherhead
13. The where are you in the league award for only singing
when you're winning (Canvey):
Sutton
14. The onion, pepper & celery award for song of the season
(Derek Allan 'Only Fools and Horses Mix'):
Anything that doesn’t involve banging on the Kingsmeadow advertising
boards
15. The car insurance biggest rip off of the season award (Kingstonian
‘admission’ prices):
Canvey admission prices
16. The Vinny Jones hard man of the season award (new award):
Julian Sills for walking off the pitch at Hendon, driving home, going to work
the next day – all without realising that he had a broken leg!
17. The frog and chicken award for friendliest away goalkeeper
(Richard Wilmot (St Albans)):
Scott Tarr (Basingstoke)
18. The Les Cleevely most hated keeper of the season award
(Ashley Harrison (Canvey)):
Paul Cutley (Braintree)
19. The durex wanker of the season award (Steve McKimm (Gravesend)):
John Pollard (Heybridge)
20. The white elephant award for the opposing player you felt
most sorry for (Eddie Akuamoah (Sutton)):
Outstanding Chesham goalkeeper Delroy Preddie for having so many knocked past
him by K’s!
21. The lion the witch and the wardrobe award for why the hell
didn't you do that for us (Lee Boylan):
Still Lee ‘league top scorer’ Boylan
22. The silk flowers heart on sleeve award (Mark Jones):
Adrian Jones
23. The carriage clock special player achievement award (Lance
Key for making every representative side known to mankind (except the Harlem Globetrotters)):
Matt Elverson, seven years after his K’s debut, pushing his way back
into the first team
24. The bacon butty overall special achievement (Steve Sedgley
and Kim Harris for turning our season around):
Kim Harris – surviving on a shoe-string
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