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FLYING WITHOUT WINGERS
And so it was, just hours after celebrating the birth of JC
news filtered through bringing with it a wave of sadness. After a number of years
the time had finally come to call it a day and move onto pastures new. But the
memories remain, some of the highlights stored on video forever more. And those
dresses - who will ever forget those tight sparkly numbers with the plunging necklines.
Happy days. Hold on, we are talking about Steps right? Oh, I see, Wingers has
left. Right. Gone to Sutton? How very sad.
So after 3 spells of varying success Wingfield has made the
transition to the Dark Side. As with David Harlow, previously the journey also
involved Farnborough Town, but more of that later. It seems that loyalty counts
for little and that blood (red & white hooped in Harlow's case) may run thicker
than water but not thicker than the promise of first team football and a few quid
every week.
Wingers rejoined K's for a third time during the summer of
1999. The 98/99 season saw Farnborough drop through the relegation trapdoor whilst
K's were enjoying an 8th placed finish in their first ever Conference season and
coming home from Wembley with the FA Trophy in tow to boot. Persuading Wingers
to don a hooped shirt once more was probably not one of the most difficult challenges
Geoff Chapple had ever faced.
Another fantastic season for the club followed - 5th place
was confirmed with a resounding three-nil victory at Northwich (Wingfield scoring
between Simba's goals) and Wembley beckoned for a second time. For Wingfield a
career ambition and boyhood dream was soon to be realised. Three minutes into
the Nationwide MacMillan Trophy final at Doncaster that dream lay in tatters.
For the few K's fans on the terraces that evening the prime concern wasn't whether
we would be able to take home a meaningless piece of silverware, but that of Winger's
fitness for Wembley. I say prime concern, perhaps secondary concern after preserving
one's limbs, but it was up there with the best of them.
Wingers didn't make Wembley, at least not in a playing capacity,
which was harsh on a player who had contributed so much to the success that year.
He scored against Welling in a dour match only remembered because it sent K's
to the summit of the Conference, albeit temporarily. A much more memorable game
was the six-nil mauling of his new employers with a Wembley cup final appearance
at stake, and a Wingfield freekick from just inside the opposition half finding
its way into the top corner of the net.
The highlight of the next season was undoubtedly the FA Cup
run. Just as Wingers was the nearly man who eventually missed out at Wembley nine
months earlier, so it proved again at Bristol City. A superbly taken goal, right
footed too, looked to be sending K's into the unprecedented heights of the 5th
round and all the glory would be bestowed, rightly or wrongly, onto the shoulders
of the matchwinner. Enter Tony Thorpe to induce feelings not felt since THAT game
at Colchester many years ago, and Wingfield (and of course Kingstonian) was robbed
of the glory.
Wingfield struggled with injury as K's struggled to cope with
their finances and life back in the Ryman League. Playing without pay for the
final few weeks of his stay WIngers made the short trip across Surrey to Gander
Green Lane.
So, Wingfield was part of a struggling side and jumped ship
the moment a better offer came along. Sound familiar? Well it will do to those
K's fans who were around when Wingers left K's for a second time to go to Farnborough.
And it will also ring a few bells to Farnborough fans who saw Wingfield leave
them upon their relegation to rejoin K's.
Wingers' best spell for K's took place during the period prior
to his transfer to deepest Hampshire. A regular scorer during his time, he'd terrorise
defenders at least four times with a stepover-nutmeg, and again, and again, before
delivering pin-point crosses into the box. Or cutting across the box and 'unleashing'
unstoppable shots past despairing keepers' dives.
Wingers experienced both the pain and the glory of the FA Cup,
although unlike Bristol City they took place over different games. A substitute
in the side that beat Brighton and claimed K's first ever League scalp he was
also a part of the side that went down 4-1 in the next round at home to Aylesbury
when the 3rd round beckoned.
Ever the nearly man, in the 100 goal season K's needed 6 in
their final game at Dulwich. Wingers hit the back of the net 4 times that day
but it was Jamie Ndah who stole the glory by netting the magical century. Wingers
contributed a fair chunk of the 100 that season but anyone who was at the game
will remember Jamie's strike, the ensuing pitch invasion and of course Darren
(pea-head) Brodrick's 'defending'.
I'm not qualified to write about Wingers' first spell at the
club so I won't, but according to those in the know he made his debut nearly 15
years ago, a sprightly youngster at Richmond Road. I know, I laughed too.
A couple of Saturdays back Wingers scored one, won a penalty
and Eddie scored a hat trick. All in the colours of Sutton. Not nice. If they'd
been playing for K's we'd have drawn five-all with Purfleet.
For all the bitterness felt at Wingers joining Sutton, one
endearing image remains to warm the heart and to suggest that maybe Wingers enjoyed
all the highs and suffered the lows as much as any fan. 18 months after the aforementioned
drubbing at the hands of Aylesbury United the two sides crossed in the League
Cup semi final. Wingfield cut across the right hand edge of the box and unleashed
the cannon. The net rippled. And Wingers sunk to his knees. Not, as you might
expect in injury, but to spark a ten-man duck walk in celebration and all the
memories of the 4-1 game were erased in one blissful moment.
I'd wish him well, but all my best wishes for those playing
in Sutton colours were used up when Eddie left.
Simon
back up top
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NOBODY'S FAULT BUT EVERYONE ELSE'S
Long-standing Ks fans will be able to recite the scenario.
In their sleep. Backwards. Somebody-ANYbody who gets a modicum of success or popularity
at Kingstonian is lined up for character assassination as quickly as possible.
Any success will be immediately put down to luck or other people. Any popularity
will be waved away as ignorance of the real situation. And they'll be out the
door like a bullet from a gun, the character assassination continuing until there's
someone else to blame for something else. And, at the end of the piece, Kingstonian
- a club with undoubted Conference potential - will be eleventh in the Ryman League.
Of course, those responsible must have thought their work was really cut out when
Geoff Chapple arrived on the Kingstonian scene. But have you seen the league table
recently?
Ashton Gate to administration was a hell of a journey, undertaken
at a hell of a lick, too (nine months & a week & a half). But the warning signs
were there throughout. Many regular Ks fans were saying even before last year's
FA Cup adventure ended that relegation might lead to precisely what it has led
to. Creditors, most notably the Inland Revenue, saying enough is enough & calling
in their debts. Which the club were woefully unable to pay. And precisely because
the warning signs were there, the "everybody's fault but ours" scenario could
get underway again.
I think New Labour must have consulted Kingstonian when they
were looking to learn the black art of negative briefing. If Richard Parkin had
known what was being said about his training methods in July 1994, after a 10-0
friendly defeat to Chelsea, he might not have bothered starting the season (he
was sacked in early September). Likewise Billy Smith in 1996, a close season which
saw the reputation of the Isthmian League Cup, which Smith's team had just won,
go down faster than Jonathan King in a Boy Scout camp. "What was all the fuss
about?" asked some about Ks first Trophy of note for 29 years & their first Trophy
at all for eight. He too was sacked in early September, while holidaying in America
- something which both sides used to bolster criticisms they were making. And
the season had barely finished when Graham Westley was on his way. Admittedly,
most of his expansive ideas WERE rubbish. But that was by-the-by.
The directors that have fallen foul of the scenario make for
a long list. Much vaunted on arrival, some even fell foul twice. What great men
were Terry Weir, Mike Smith, Barry Chauveau, Robert Woolfson, Peter Gellard, Phil
Claiden, Terry Weir. Until they weren't of course. But Geoff Chapple was a different
task. So it really was a case of doing the work early. The following was written
during the drafting of an article written, though never completed or published,
after the Southend FA Cup win:
"Yet Chapple has still failed to convince everyone. And with
Ks in the thick of the relegation battle this season, there have been remarkable
mutterings about his future at the club. The same criticisms which surfaced at
Woking have continued to be levelled at him. People have gone into print questioning
just exactly what it is that Chapple does. "He doesn't seem to do much. But it
seems to work" was the grudging praise for Chapple in a Non-League paper article
last November. And Chapple's lack of involvement in training has been noted publicly.
"He's not the man you think he is" a former club director warned us a couple of
years ago."
Nothing new, then. Indeed nothing that wasn't common-ish knowledge
when Geoff joined Ks. Or when we won the lsthmian League for the first time in
61 years. Or when we won at Wembley for the first time ever. Or when we won at
Wembley for the second time ever. Or when we got to the FA Cup third round proper
for the first time. Or when we got to the FA Cup fourth round proper for... you
get the message. Take these quotes from the July 1997 issue of the Woking fanzine
"Back of a Postage Stamp":
"He showed blind faith in methods that were becoming stale
& unpopular." "He became distanced from a playing staff frustrated by insensitive
management." "Chapple wanted more freedom in his decision-making, yet worked better
when his budget was restricted. Contrast, for example, the financial shambles
his ill-advised squad rebuilding created during our first Conference season with
the wonders he worked with his hands tied over the next three years." "The argument
remains that, whatever budget he was permitted, Woking remained amongst the top
payers in every division in which they played - a natural consequence of their
level of support. Yet Chapple still had to bring in the right players, which he
did. Ironically, when on occasion he was afforded the independence he strived
for so greatly, he made errors. Again compare the signings of Dereck Brown, Stewart
Mitchell, Scott Steele & Steve Foster (all achieved with limited financial outlay)
to those of Tim Read, Steve Milton or Trevor Senior."
So the negative briefers had to come up with more than the
faults which even his supporters at Woking & Ks acknowledged (the above Woking
quotes came from an article which concluded that Chapple "was a miracle-worker..."
who "...remains the most important figure in over 100 years of Woking's existence...").
And so it is that the idea has surfaced that Chapple was not only a con-man but
the man who "single-handedly bankrupted this club" (in the reported words of one
director who couldn't fathom Chapple's popularity). The following is another list
of quotes, I'm afraid - I'm not writing much of this article myself, am I? But
they do represent well the message which some are attempting to spread:
"He was a chancer & chancers always get found out in the end.
I mean, managers win cups. But players win leagues."
"He brought in David Leworthy. But Matt Crossley came. And
HE brought in Terry Evans, who brought in Gary Patterson. And Geoff Pitcher was
already here."
"He took a cut of everything. Transfers. Publicity stunts.
Photo opportunities. The Geoff Chapple buzzline No-one else took money for the
information line."
"He couldn't negotiate with players. Everything they asked
for they got. But he lost the dressing room. Players were coming up to directors
& pleading for something to happen after the Rushden game."
"He was never here during the last few months."
And so on. The "true nature" of Chapple's responsibility for
Ks current financial mess will soon be revealed, we are assured. Indeed, the directors
were to get their chance to reveal all at the October meeting addressed by a representative
of the administrators Begbies Traynor. Except that the representative, Nick Hood,
refused to answer questions about the past. Still, we can wait.
But the systematic effort to completely trash Chapple's reputation
shows not the slightest sign of letting up. No opportunity is being missed to
remind us of how "dreadful" last season's football was. Nor of how generous some
of last season's players' contracts were - I discovered rather more details of
lan Duerden's financial arrangements than I was entitled to know in the immediate
aftermath of Ks win at Boreham Wood in November. "And Mark Beard took a pay cut
to go to Southend." If I'd had a pound for the number of times I've been told
that, Beard's wages would have looked like loose change. In the weeks following
the well-attended "thank you" event for Chapple & Eddie Akuamoah, the latter's
reputation took a similar, if lower-key, battering. "Eddie took a £100 pay cut
to go to Sutton. What does that tell you?" "And he never liked the cold weather...
how many times did he have the 'flu'?"
It is clear that a good deal of organisation, thought & detail
has gone into this enterprise. The sort of qualities you'd need to run a football
club properly, in fact. And yet the arguments fall apart on even the most cursory
of examinations.
Chancers may get found out in the end. But if they do so after
three league titles, one runner-up spot, six promotions compared to two relegations,
seven league teams beaten in the FA Cup, four appearances in the third round proper
& two in the fourth round proper, five FA Trophy wins at Wembley plus nine other
cup wins in the space of seventeen years, then appoint a chancer every time.
Players may win cups while managers win leagues. But if managers
enter three leagues in their career, win two of them (one twice with two different
clubs, plus two lower division titles) & finish runner-up in the third, then they
ARE managers. Would that every, no… make that ANY, Ks manager was like that.
So Matt Crossley "just came" did he? Why was that then? Why
was he Woking-bound until certain personnel changes in May 1997? I wonder who
brought that about? And wasn't it 90% of the team that was re-built? For every
Lennie Dennis there seemed to be a Gavin Holligan. For every Danny Smith there
was a Dean Hooper. There was one Steve Farrelly & Gavin Kelly. There was one Simon
Stewart & Derek Allan. I could go on... oh, I have...
He may have taken "a cut of everything" but if he negotiated
any of that "everything" then he'd be a little silly NOT to take a cut. And if
he didn't negotiate some of that "everything" then someone else must have allowed
him that cut. Or is the allegation really one of theft? Best say so NOW if it
is. He may not have been able to negotiate with players. But it was other directors
who were setting his budget. Or is this allegation also one of theft, in that
he exceeded his budget without directors' authority? (And if so, HOW?). Best say
so NOW if he did. And anyway, why tell ME about your misgivings over Duerden's
contract in November when telling Geoff Chapple the same things in FEBRUARY might
have made a blind bit of difference?
And he may never have been here over the last few months. Should
have got him the sack, you might think? Well he WAS sacked, remember? But I do
wonder what made him stay away. Whether the low opinions of him which it seems
just about every director shared & which are now being made oh so very public
were always there in the background. It does a lot to explain certain glum faces
after we beat Southend. That's for dead sure.
Oh, & as for the criticisms of Eddie. 400 appearances in eight
years. Selected in all positions from left-back to centre-forward. And STILL sixth
highest scorer of all time for Kingstonian.
Part of the scenario is an attempt to ensure that we were either
entirely pro-Geoff or entirely against him. And no points in-between. So it is
that ANYone who attended the Working Men's Club do is at least potentially the
enemy within. And as for anyone who used a microphone that night... "How could
you NOT agree with Geoff Chapple's sacking?" I was asked. Well, how can you NOT
understand that whatever your views on Geoffs departure & even if you acknowledge
his faults, you can still thank him for being the best manager this club has ever
had… BY-A-MILE-&-A-HALF.
But of course that doesn't fit in with the scenario. You can't
be seen to thank Richard Parkin for co-managing a team that scored 101 league
goals in a season. You can't thank Billy Smith for producing a cup final win at
Aldershot AND a championship challenge which lasted beyond Christmas for only
the third time in my lifetime (31 years at that stage, despite appearances). You
can't thank Mike Smith for getting THE best comedy talent in the country to play
a full season at Kingsmeadow only to be undermined by office staff who had never
heard of Time Out, the MAJOR London listings magazine & the MAJOR source of advertising
for such events. You can't thank Barry Chauveau or the man who brought Geoff Chapple
to this club, Terry Weir. You might not WANT to in some cases. But you can't even
if you DID want to. Because that would be anti-Kingstonian.
You can't even give credit where it is due for the appointment
of Bill Williams. Because that would not only help to undermine the case for Geoff
Chapple being solely responsible for Ks current mess. It would also undermine
the credibility of many of those making that case. For Williams was their appointment.
Nothing to do with Geoff Chapple. So, while no opportunity is being missed to
remind us how "dreadful" last season was, EVERY opportunity is being missed to
remind us of how bad Hendon away, Enfield at home &, of course, Brockenhurst was.
It IS nice to see that the club is now going to give "youngsters from all over
Surrey" a chance. But we can't afford to do anything else. So don't put that down
to foresight or any conscious policy decision.
For long-standing Ks fans, it's a tired old scenario. We're
used to it. It's why we knew, just KNEW, that the writing was on the wall for
commercial manager Chris Richardson perhaps even before he did. HE was getting
briefed against in the week prior to the Bristol City replay. But did HE get the
wrong year on the match tickets for the game? Did HE give out false information
to supporters with regard to information about such easily forgeable tickets?
Yes, we want some of the "all" to be revealed. And quickly,
too. But what we want to be revealed above "all" else, is why anyone on the board
of directors in the club's journey from Ashton Gate to administration in nine
months & a week & a half is even remotely considering ANY future involvement in
the affairs of Kingstonian Football Club Limited. Because try as we might, we
can't come up with ANY answer to that.
Mark Murphy
back up top
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WAITING AND HOPING
Taimour Lay worries for the immediate future of the club,
but defends our much-vilified Board.
For those of us not well versed in the finer points of corporate
and solvency law, the strategy of the last three months has been to wait quietly
and hope for a favourable conclusion. Yet the borough of Kingston has stubbornly
refused thus far to yield up a business benefactor, local lottery winner or Arab
Sheikh prepared to assume the responsibility (and debts) of Kingstonian Football
Club.
As the three month 'initial period' since bankruptcy approaches,
and bearing in mind Joint Administrator Nick Hood's confident assertions that
any negotiations with interested parties would be finished 'well before' that
date, the creeping complacency around the club that survival was somehow inevitable
is only now perhaps being shaken.
Serious negotiations seem only to have been conducted with
Wimbledon and Farnborough Town, both of whom appeared less interested in the long-term
future and identity of KFC, than in Kingsmeadow's cheaply available assets and
facilities. The statutory meeting of creditors at Kingsmeadow on January 23rd
will provide a sharp reminder that the club cannot continue to tread in shark-infested
waters indefinitely.
The current uncertainty has undoubtedly deterred sponsors (witness
the glaringly blank perimeter hoardings) and affected income from the function
rooms. Moreover, Steve Sedgley remains unable to restructure a desperately shallow
squad. It is to his, and the team's, credit that we have sustained an impressive
run of performances and results.
As the pressure mounts, the past conduct of the men running
our club has rightly come under intense scrutiny. But does a Board which has undoubtedly
invested substantial sums of money and led the K's through an unprecedented period
of success deserve the unqualified censure it has received?
The long held, minority view amongst fans that Directors have
used Kingstonian as a base for personal advancement and murky machinations, particularly
with regard to Premier Investment Ltd, is, I think, misplaced. The most credible
criticism is surely not of greed or corruption, but plain incompetence. Not as
colourful as talk of power struggles, dodgy financial dealings and conflicts of
interest but probably the likeliest explanation for our current plight. In short,
bad planning and bad choices. How else does one explain the vastly expensive (and
arguably unnecessary) ground redevelopment, the sacking of Chapple or the 20%
increase in playing budget in the year following relegation?
Gerry Desler, Financial Director and frequent contributor to
the new Director's Forum on K's Web, last year liberally spread the blame for
Kingstonian's decline and fall. His frustrated outburst catalogues comprehensive
failure and incompetence over a long period of time.
'The manager couldn't get the players' wages down to the
level we wanted. The commercial manager couldn't sell advertising. Malcolm Grant
couldn't persuade Grolsch to increase sponsorship. The Finance Director couldn't
get overheads down to a lower level. The supporters that came to games last year
did not come this year. Tom Dixon for not making more money from social events
and match day competitions. Karl Phillips for not negotiating a lower pay-out
to Geoff Chapple. The players for not playing up to what was expected and losing
and hence the crowds reducing. I'm sure I have left somebody out - what about
Bin Laden? I'm sure I could find something to blame him for.'
But underlying all this is a long-term, possibly insurmountable
barrier to any future success: the borough of Kingston itself. Geoff Chapple was
continually frustrated by the paucity of fans at Kingsmeadow. Despite unprecedented
silverware and media exposure, attracting more than 1000 paying customers every
other week remained a constant problem. In 1999, he said that 1500 regular fans
was the very minimum needed to sustain Kingstonian as a competitive Nationwide
Conference outfit. The Board gambled that huge investment in coaching and playing
staff, accompanied by success on the pitch, would eventually achieve this sort
of increase. Chapple himself became convinced that Kingston was just 'not a football
area', and he has not been proved wrong.
Moreover, though Kingston is undoubtedly an affluent centre
of business and commerce, the club has not been able to tap into this wealth through
sponsorship and partnerships with the community. Whilst Woking received nearly
£1 million in local Government support to help fund their impressive new stand,
the K's faced numerous battles not for financial help, but just to gain planning
permission for the redevelopment. Steve Mama, anyone?
The realisation dawning is that Kingston does not want, and
cannot support, a Conference or Football League team. The Board's mistakes (and
there have been many) must be seen against this background of local indifference.
Now that the administration of the club is in the hands of
corporate recovery specialists Begbies Traynor, the players, the former Board,
the creditors and, of course, the fans, can only hold a collective breath as the
club's uncertain future plays itself out. But only by realistically assessing
the fundamental causes of our current plight can we hope to avoid this situation
ever arising again. To direct exclusive blame at the suits in the Director's box
is the easy option.
Taimour
back up top
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THE MAILBOX
To my shame, it's some time since I came to a match at Kingsmeadow.
So I'm especially looking forward to this match. Let's hope we beat Canvey Island
big time today!
A lot's been happening at the Club in recent times, to say
the least! Although it's been a tough time, standing back, I'm heartened by how
loyal many supporters have been. We all know that nowadays football clubs are
more dependent on money than ever and that the current problems will only be sorted
out by some cash injection. Yet it's the supporters who fundamentally make the
club, and whatever happens, it's vital that's not forgotten.
We're right to be proud of our club. The not-so-long-ago victories
at Wembley show what has been achieved and what can be achieved again. I've no
doubt the better times will return. I've been delighted to help out when asked
before, and I'm looking forward to supporting the club for many years to come.
Since this is my first ever article for the Fanzine, I should
get one confession out of the way now. For the record. Having been brought up
in Nottingham till the age of 18, I remain a Magpies fan too. Aged four, it was
a choice between Forest and County. In those pre-Clough days, County seemed like
just as good a bet! Even if I became the only County fan in my class some years
later! Edward Davey MP Liberal Democrat Member of Parliament for Kingston and
Surbiton.
Edward Davey MP
(Liberal Democrat Member of Parliament for Kingston and Surbiton)
back up top
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THE DECLINE
It may just be me, or talking to a couple of other K’s-ites,
it may not be. Right at the start, don't get me wrong, I'm still a K's fan and
always will be, and although I continue to go to the games, I am just finding
it hard to motivate myself to turn up to Kingsmeadow. Forgive me for being nostalgic
but things are not like what they used to be.
The '98 season when we won the league was brilliant, even before
we were seriously challenging for the title. Take the early months, when the games
and league position weren't quite there yet, but the atmosphere was superb amongst
the crowd. How much of that was down to Geoff Chapple's arrival? It seems a lot,
but why not again? Fans disappearing ulitimately has knock-on effects for those
of us left remaining.
Taking the group of friends with whom I go to games to - the
numbers have been in decline. Gone are the days when 15 of us would make time
pass on long coach journeys, go out after a game at Kingsmeadow on a Saturday
night. Some have gone to university as far afield as Southampton, Plymouth and
Sheffield, others have moved away to the midlands, and most worryingly some just
don't bother to come any more. I fear that this could happen to me and others
(hooray I hear you all shout and good riddance).
In the few seasons before the glory I actually got excited
about going to Hendon, Walton and especially Dulwich (I love that ground!) and
I was happy with a top half finish and a run to the final qualifying round of
the FA cup. But now, Hendon away is like doomsday.
I wrote an article in a previous issue detailing why it would
be good for the club to go down, citing reasons such as we would be back home
early and get around on a travelcard. I then discovered the firm grip that Essex
has taken on the Ryman League.
I began to get tired of getting up stupidly early on a Saturday
to get to Morecambe or Scarborough but I miss that all now. I suppose I can't
be pleased either way - when I was travelling the length of the country I wished
we were back within the M25. Now we are here I actually miss Birmingham (I never
thought I would say that). I'm back to where when I get asked who I support all
I get back is the puzzled blank look and a response of, "so what division
are they in then?" Even my girlfriend thinks that now we have gone down we
are playing park football.
It could well be that because we have got used to the big crowds,
the success and seeing some of the best players ever to wear the famous hoops
that we have been spoilt and expect to be beating the likes of Purfleet. When
it doesn't happen is when I feel like this. Maybe it'll all come back again one
day…
Richard
back up top
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WHERE WERE YOU WHEN...?
The memory is a wonderful thing. It can bring joy, pain, pleasure
and every other emotion possible. It is said that when you get older the memory
goes. This is not in fact true. What does happen is that the mind acts as a sieve
and gets rid of all the things that you do not regard to be relevant. Birthdays,
doctor's appointments, paying your taxes. Get the picture? But you can always
remember the really important issues like who scored the vital goal in a specific
game.
I have four passions in my life. Family, sport, music and travel.
My wife Joyce will probably tell you that football is an obsession not a passion,
but happily she shares my interest as do my two daughters. Although I have run
my own business for twenty-seven years, this comes a long way down the list of
my real passions. I would always claim to work to live, not the other way around.
Joyce will also tell you, if asked, that wherever we are and whatever the conversation
is about I will turn it around to football. I have discussed football with a hotel
porter in Barcelona, a tour guide in Lisbon, a barman in Brisbane and a priest
in Hong Kong. This holy man was the official curate to Manchester United so I
really did think I had died and gone to heaven. Regular readers of my drivel will
know that I have already confessed to being a Manchester United fan too. Sorry
Rex!
One of the more useful functions that the human brain has developed
is "event association". This enables us to relate to a particular time in our
past by recollection of a specific event, a piece of music, a picture, etc. Sometimes
these memories are pleasurable sometimes they are not. For example, who will forget
where they were on 11th September 2001?
For some of us slightly older people, I am now 55, the memory
sieve goes into selective action on a regular basis. However I can clearly remember
where I was when John F Kennedy died. Can you? I was at a school dance with my
then current girlfriend, Sally. She was wearing the sexiest pair of boots I had
ever seen. They were bright red plastic and would now be deemed as the height
of naffness. The sort of foot apparel that Paddington Bear might don and would
quite probably look good in. But, considering my raging teenage hormones, to me
those boots looked fantastic. Someone then came up to us at the dance and told
us about Kennedy and all thoughts of an evening of passion went rocketing out
the window quicker than a Colin Luckett free kick.
Ok, so let's get down to the serious bit, the football. Despite
my advancing years and the fact that I now consider Terry Wogan to be a close
friend, I CAN remember where I was last year throughout the great K's cup run,
having witnessed most of it first hand. Although I unfortunately missed the Brentford
game, I was there in spirit being glued to both Sky and Teletext with a mixture
of joy and disbelief. What happened to Sammy after that game? Other Wogan listeners
may well relate to his TOGS phrase, "do I come here often". I have often gone
into a room at my office and wondered "what the hell am I doing here?" But for
my memory and me, football is no problem. Strangely enough one of the games that
I can best "event associate" with, is one that I did not even attend.
Stick with me, this is going somewhere and it is not the ramblings
of an old disorientated football fan. Well it might be!
Last November Joyce and I went to Whitby for the weekend. This
very pleasant Yorkshire coastal town serves up the best fish and chips in England
and is the home of much of TV's "Heartbeat" series. As Whitby FC were not playing
at home on the Saturday we went for a long walk in the wind and the rain and did
a little touring around. Funny, but getting blown about at a football match does
not seem to matter. Freezing your nuts off on a walk in November seems daft to
the point of insanity. On getting back to the hotel I turned on the TV for the
results and was stunned to see the score Stevenage 2 - Kingstonian 5. I later
read that we were rather fortunate in the second half although Geoff Chapple claimed
it was a great performance. This I thought was a great result and quite probably
the turning point to K's poor league season. Wrong again!
Later on that evening we went to the hotel restaurant for dinner
and were greeted by the resident band. This consisted of an eighty-year-old organist
who made young Mr Grace from "are you being served" look like a teenager, and
who arrived through the floor in a cloud of smoke. Very 60's. He was accompanied
by a heavily set and limping cockney who was wearing an ill-fitting wig. The final
member of this awesome band was an elderly but still attractive lady from Leeds.
Her Northern accent would strip paint at a hundred metres when she spoke but she
had a great singing voice. The band (?) was called Wet and Wilde. The lady was
Wet, and the old slightly decrepit cockney was Wilde. Most inappropriately named
for their persona but not for the weather.
Prior to the evening's entertainment, they invited all guests
to partake in a game of bingo. You can imagine how excited I was at this prospect.
Anyhow, Wet and Wild came to the tables selling tickets and Wilde engaged me in
a conversation. "Where do you come from then?" he asked. "Harrogate" I answered
politely. "Don't sound like one of them to me" he responded. "I actually come
from Kingston in Surrey" I responded defending my southern accent and pride. "I
played for your football team, Kingstonian, after the war" said Wilde. I suppose
I should have asked which war he referred to, but I was so stunned by this revelation
that I just sat there in amazement. He then told me his name was Rory Wilde, which
threw me even more having never met another Rory let alone one that played for
K's. After that we became great pals as I became the butt of all of his jokes.
Surprisingly enough he was a terrific guitarist and quite a good singer. Not sure
about his football skills though or his truthfulness.
So there you have it. My memory is fine. I know where I was
when the K's stuffed Stevenage in 2000. I apologise to Michael Aspel in case he
ever intended featuring me on "This Is Your Life". Bit late after this lot.
Rory
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