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ONE STEP BACKWARDS
Ok, firstly a few words from a sane person, yours truly,
the editor. This article is only here as it's an interesting idea, though only
if you're from the same planet as the author. Hence I distance myself from it.
Richard clearly is being an idiot, and a public flogging shall be arranged in
due course…
At the risk of sounding controversial, my view is that it will
do us good to go down.
I am not saying I want us to get relegated, far from it, I
am a most passionate K's fan (some say too passionate, especially those who wear
Day-Glo clothing), and it would devastate me to see us take the dreaded drop.
But looking at the situation as a whole, it may be the best think that can happen
to the club.
To coin a phrase used by Mark Murphy in the last issue of WIAO
"we didn't get it right the last time." On the pitch we did everything
right in winning the Ryman League, we were consistent throughout, took points
from matches against our fellow title contenders and streaked away at the finish.
However, off the pitch we got it all wrong. There was no follow up to the success,
from any quarters involved within the club, as we sat on the verge of our first
ever season in the top flight of the non-league game we rested on our laurels.
The attitude seemed to be that it would just be ok.
We managed to get over 1000 for our last half a dozen home
games in the Ryman league. We thought that just by virtue of the fact we are playing
with the big boys would match that and go beyond. Initially, with best followed
sides visiting, yes. We didn't take the opportunity to hold onto the interest
that was generated, and, thereafter normality was restored and we dropped below
the four-figure mark on an increasingly regular basis.
It would not be the end of the world. Several teams at the
highest level have come out stronger after a major set back, taking the French
as an example. While Graham Taylor's England were licking their wounds over failure
to qualify for World Cup 94, our 'rivals' from across the Channel took a step
back and sorted themselves out. The rest is history. If only the FA had taken
a similar view… Domestically, Man City are a prime example, or even Charlton.
It wasn't so long ago that Chelsea went through the pain of relegation from the
top flight. Chelsea fans with memories will, if pushed hard enough, agree that
in the long term if did the club good. Once they bounced back into the top flight
they embarked on the most successful period in their history. (yeah, and look
at them now - ed)
Does this same theory apply at our level, I think even more
so. Only four years ago we were facing Yeovil in the Isthmian League after they
were relegated from the Conference, and Dagenham seem to be a stronger force this
time round in the Conference.
To be honest I don't think we are good enough to be in amongst
the non-league Elite. We have proved that we can hold our own in this league and
compete with the best of them, as results over the past two seasons have proved.
We did well last year not to 'get found out' as most sides do in their second
year up. But this season whatever way you look at it we are simply not good enough
at the moment. You can blame injures, suspensions and all but the harsh facts
are there for everyone to see. Accuse me of being defeatist if you want, and I
will probably get a grilling from various quarters (oh you will - ed),
but I ask you where would you like K's to be in 5 years time? Either:
* A mid table at best, Conference side playing meaningless
games for the last three months of the season against a dwindling crowd often
than 800 or…
* A strong top six side with a real chance of promotion to the football league
playing in a decent stadium which attracts 1500 every week.
The choice is yours, I put it to you that for the second scenario
to happen then "the only way up is down." Two years back in the Ryman
and avoidance of any of previous mistakes, this club can become a major force
in the Conference. The only downside to relegation is having to go to Grays. But
I will gladly spend a day in the hole at 'The Recreation Ground' for another bite
at the cherry of becoming a recognised force in the non-league circles, and more
importantly within the local community.
Another two dozen trips around the rolling Kent, Sussex and
Hertfordshire countrysides, rather than the arduous visits through the mass industrial
estate that is affectionately known as Birmingham, lager at subsided social club
prices, and getting home in time for last orders at The Kings Tun would do me
nicely. I am almost looking forward to it already.
Richard
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THE FIRST ONE HUNDRED
A little-acknowledged milestone was reached when K’s travelled
to Huish Park, Yeovil, in October this season. This match was the one hundredth
Football Conference fixture for Kingstonian FC, surely as good a time as any to
look back over the first two and a half seasons in non-league’s top-flight.
The overall record makes quite pleasing reading, with 41 wins,
22 draws and 37 losses. In that time 130 goals have been scored, with the opposition’s
total being 126. It’s even more pleasing when you remember that several pre-Wembley
games were played without anything resembling the first team. Yeovil away in April
2000 being a case in point.
There have, of course, been some remarkable matches over this
time. Not least the very first Conference fixture, when just-relegated Hereford
were beaten two-nil thanks to goals from David Leworthy and Joe Francis. Not to
mention Jerome John’s heroics. And all of this in front of a crowd of 2,104. Where
have all those people gone since?
Some other notable matches include the early August 1998 visit
to Huish Park, when a 3-1 win (after that tackle by Patterson) saw K’s sitting
proudly at the top of the table. This feat was repeated in September last year
when a three-nil win at Welling saw K’s leapfrog Rushden to claim top-spot again.
The low point? Well that would have to be now. The loss to
Yeovil in October ensured that K’s moved back down to 21st place in the table,
for the third time this season.
The biggest Conference win so far was at home to Barrow in
October 1998, when five goals were scored with just one in reply. But K’s have
been on the receiving end of the same scoreline twice – against Rushden in only
the fourth Conference game and again at Dover just after Christmas 1998. But then
our goal was still the best one that day – remember Patto’s left-footed chip?
Attendances
136,682 people have seen Kingstonian in the Conference, which
averages out at 1,367 people per game. The home average is slightly worse, standing
(or sitting) at 1,211 whilst away it is 1,523. The average home attendance during
the Ryman promotion winning season was 1,100 leaving the conclusion to be reached
that only 111 more people have been attracted to Kingsmeadow by Conference football.
Shame.
And the trend is certainly a downward one since promotion.
The inaugural Conference season saw a league average of 1,300, followed by 1,193
in 1999/2000. The current average for this season - before the visit of crowd-pullers
Leigh - is 1,002.
Scorers
There have, of course, been some bizarre goals and goalscorers
over the past two and a half seasons. Sutton helpfully scored all four goals in
the two-two Gander Green Lane draw in November 1999 whilst Lee Boylan finally
got off the zero mark when he scored the winner at Kingfield, but didn’t get any
more than that. And Carl Trantor followed suit when his winner at home to Kidderminster
became the high point of his K’s career. And who remembers Scott Corbett scoring
in two consecutive matches? It did happen – he scored the equaliser at Telford,
quickly followed by the winner at Northwich.
The Future
As for what the future holds – who can tell? If the previous
two seasons are anything to go by then it looks likely that there will be a barren
spell around about April – but then hopefully we’ll all be busy thinking of our
May trip to Wales, or wherever this year’s Trophy Final ends up. But to finish
on a happy thought here’s just one fascinating fact as we creep closer to Christmas.
Despite seven attempts, Kingstonian have yet to record a Conference victory in
December...
Gary
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GREATEST KINGSTONIAN GOALS
The tributes to David Leworthy in various Kingstonian publications
in August were suitably generous. But one thing they had in common was the one
thing they lacked. Mention of his goal against Altrincham. You know the one. Or
at least 900 of you do, because you were there. The over-the shoulder 35 yard
volley into the top right hand corner of the net from a Gary Patterson knock-down.
It certainly ranks as the best goal I've seen Ks score in 18 1/2 years of watching
them. And recall of that goal brought others into the wide open spaces of my mind.
So I thought I'd share those thoughts with you. Isn't that nice of me? Some are
included because of their genuine merit, others because of their context. And
one or two for both reasons.
The Finch Connection
In terms of quality, David Leworthy's strike just about edged
out Colin Luckett's 30 yard (40 yard! - ed) volley in the 1996 Isthmian League
Cup quarter-final at home to Enfield. Colin ran onto a half cleared corner & whacked
the ball so hard that keeper Andy Pape shut up for about eight & a half seconds.
Yes, that good. It put Ks three-up just before half time & one step nearer what
we then regarded as cup glory. Times were hard. He got another cracking goal in
the following year's semi-final defeat at Boreham Wood, drilling a low 25-yarder
in after John Finch had run 70 yards down the right flank & whipped a 35-yard
crossfield pass onto Colin's boot laces.
He was like that, John Finch. At times, anyway. He did something
similar on his debut in October 1992, although the crossfield pass wasn't quite
so accurate this time. So the poor 18 year-old kid at the far post in only his
fourth or fifth game for the club would have had to arch his back & slam a 20-yard
waist high left-foot volley into the opposite top corner of the net past a shocked
home keeper (Pape again, because it was Enfield again) to get an entry in this
article. Which, of course, he did. So he has. Whatever happened to Paul Underwood?
As for memories of John Finch goals. Well, I recall him receiving
a throw-in 40 yards out on the left at Peterborough six weeks later, advancing
15 yards & then unleashing a 25-yard cannon into the top corner of the net to
inspire 500 Ks fans to do the 'dying fly' in celebration behind the goal. But
I also recall it being a celebration of Ks being 5-1 DOWN after 68 minutes, on
the way to a 9-1 defeat, with 5ft 5" ex-Woking midfielder Andy Parr in goal. And
I recall seeing it on BBC TV. And seeing mention of the game on the front page
of the Independent. Yet the official records say we lost that game, an FA Cup
First Round replay, 1-0. I wonder what drugs I was on. And do I have any left?
First Loves
They do say that the first love is the sweetest. And, who knows,
maybe one day I'll find out (aaaaah!). But in the context of this article, a couple
of firsts came to mind straight away. My first away game with Ks, for example.
March 1982. ANOTHER League Cup semi-final. Away to Wycombe Wanderers. Jim Baptie
kicks the game off by rolling the ball forward to Alan Morton, who knocks it back
to Dave Alexander on the edge of the centre circle. Alexander ventures a couple
of paces forward & knocks the ball hopefully towards the edge of the Wycombe penalty
area, where Baptie re-appears to smash the ball into the net with his left-foot.
Officially four & a half seconds. 1-0 to Ks.
Mysteries still abound about all this. It takes twice as long
to describe as it did to score (time yourself). No-one who's ever met the rotund
Mr Baptie can explain how he got from centre-spot to penalty area so quickly.
And it was soon declared the fastest goal ever scored in the South East of England.
Who timed it? And who defined 'South East of England?' (Is Wycombe South East
or Central Southern, for instance?). It's one of those meaningless records, like
a British all-comers record. Or anything Bowie's released since his 1980 tribute
to Sutton United fans, Scary Monsters & Super Creeps. And... and... and... it
was 5-3 to Wycombe after 37 minutes & STILL 5-3 after extra-time (Ks had won the
first leg, my first ever Ks game, 2-0). If Mulder & Scully had had this as their
1st case, they'd never have taken on a second.
The winner in this category, though, has to go to the first
winner I ever saw Ks get against Sutton. John Martin, London Senior Cup 1984.
Yes, you've guessed it... SEMI-FINAL. Now it was either another cracking over-the-shoulder
volley from the edge of the area, or a mis-hit which the wind blew in. I've always
plumped for the latter, having been behind the goal into which said wind was blowing.
But it was Sutton so it didn't matter. In fact, that day was the start of my particular
urfondness for the men in amber & turd. "Of course, the final will be at Brentford
because we're in it" their officials crowed loudly before the game. "Of course,
the final won't be at Brentford now we're not in it" they crowed after Ks had
won 3-2. Of course, they were right. Sutton were one of the big cheeses in the
London FA at the time, while Ks palpably were not. They were one division higher
& half a world away from us. But did they have to be so loud & goddamn snooty
about it? So was born a beautiful hatred, confirmed time upon time since. Which
is why it feels so good to be a division higher & half a world away from them
now.
Outstanding Hampton
The first genuinely good Ks side I saw began to take shape
just as we were leaving Richmond Road (RIP) & taking up temporary residence at
Hampton. David Harlow, David Kempton, John Power, and Micky Droy at his best.
Centre-forward Jimmy Brown, the Godfather of Goals ('we knew he was good when
he signed because we'd heard of him'). Christ, we even liked Graham blimin' Westley
in those days. And three goals from that season & a bit (March 1988 to May 1989)
have forced their way here.
Two of them came in the same match, at Grays Athletic, outstanding
goals even in what was the 'best season ever' to that point. Indeed, they would
have been stand-outs in any season. Steve Griffiths goal was a 20 yard first-time
volley of a ball which dropped from a VERY considerable height. It was a special
goal from a not-so-special player. Cars were swerving on Dartford Bridge as he
shaped to shoot & there were unconfirmed sightings that the referee had already
given the goal kick. Then, ten minutes later, an even more special goal from a
more special player. The left-footed David Kempton beat two defenders & hammered
the ball home right-footed from 30 yards. A quarter of a goal of the season competition
in one March afternoon.
Yet there was a sense of injustice to add to this particular
mix. Because in & around all this, Grays got two goals ugly enough to match the
surroundings ('when I die I'll go to heaven, because I've already been to Grays
Athletic'). One came off a forward's arse from three yards, the other from a centre-halves
elbow from two. Different class. Same value. One point each. I think Dwight Marshall
got one. Just like last season.
During the late eighties Kingstonian had what programme editor
John Trevor (God rest his soul) referred to as their "customarily good April."
And, as Ks headed for their highest league season for a quarter of a century,
1989 was no different. A shell-shocked Hendon, Dave Root and all, were hit for
seven on the first Saturday. And the visitors the following Tuesday were Croydon,
so far adrift at the bottom that even with eight games left they needed snookers.
But another Ks custom, not entirely eradicated even now, was to foul up spectacularly
in such circumstances. And, true to form, Ks quickly found themselves two goals
down. Croydon were worse than bad, however. So Ks were back on level terms as
stoppage time approached. And when keeper John Power launched one of his trademark
huge drop-kicks into the flight path of much of Heathrow's traffic, you could
almost sense that each Croydon defender was dying to shout "yours" as the ball
dropped. So it was that only Jimmy Brown & the Croydon keeper were in contention.
The ball, Jimmy Brown & the keeper arrived at the same spot just outside the area
at the same time. But where the goalkeeper flinched, Brown swung his right boot
& the ball flew into the corner of the net, This sparked celebrations wholly inappropriate
for a narrow 3-2 home win over the worst side in the South of England. Almost
Wembley-like in their fervour. A good job, then, that there were only ten of us
behind the goal.
The Wild, the Beautiful & the Damned
Jamie Ndah's first goal against Brighton (if you have to ask
which Brighton game, you're reading the wrong publication) ranks as the most famous
Kingstonian goal that I've seen. And that was because it was one of the best.
Brighton did after all equalise & very few people would be able to talk you through
Jamie's winning goal, a scrambled egg of an effort nine minutes from time. No,
it was the twenty yard over-head kick which got him on Match of the Day, even
though their cameras didn't QUITE catch the moment. And, for a while, Jamie had
the most famous smile in football. A career advertising toothpaste could have
been his, if his football career didn't take off. And, sadly, the career didn't
take off. Injuries & a misguided move to Third Division strugglers Torquay put
paid to all hopes of Jamie fulfilling his potential.
The most aesthetically pleasing Ks goal I ever saw came on
one of the most satisfying days I ever had as a Ks fan. To get the shock out of
the way first, it was a Phil Wingfield header, even more of a "tell-the-grandchildren"
moment then than now. And a seven man pitch length move, all one-touch stuff as
I recall. The context made it special too. It was 1993/94 & the only spark of
interest left in another trophy-less season (we used to have lots of those, you
know) was whether Ks could reach 100 league goals. With Jamie Ndah, Eddie Akuamoah
& Phil Wingfield approaching the height of their powers, Ks were regularly getting
threes, fours & fives. At either end, sadly (hence the lack of trophies). And
with two games to go, Ks were on 94 goals. The penultimate game was a no-score
bore on a windy night at Hendon (we used to have a lot of those, too). So we had
to go nap plus one at Dulwich to reach our target. Would have been worth walking
to the game to see it. So just as well it happened because twenty of us did just
that for charity.
And it was Phil's goal that clinched it. It wasn't goal number
100. That was a sloppy mis-hit from Ndah. But it put Ks 4-1 up just after half
time. And it was of such sublime quality that you knew, you just KNEW, that two
more would follow. As it turned out, three more followed. 101 goals scored, 64
conceded. 10th place. Mid-table mediocrity it was not.
Best own goal'? Absolutely no contest. Wivenhoe visited Kingsmeadow
in March 1991, with Ks still among the title chasers (though not for long afterwards).
In their line-up, the very scouse John Lacy, ex-Fulham, ex-Spurs & ex-Ks 21 years
previously. And possessing enough self- confidence to make a Sutton United official
blush. "I've had a great career, me" was one of the more printable replies he
gave us to the stream of invective we were pointing his way (we were young, OK?).
He rose to the bait like a salmon. Which just made us worse. And he was also getting
angrier because Wivenhoe were 2-1 down, despite his best efforts. Then it happened.
David Kempton made an idiot of their right-back for about the twenty-fourth time
in seventy minutes & whipped in a dangerous near-post cross. The finish was clinical.
Low & hard, under the keeper's body. He had to be at full stretch, too. And his
name? One John Lacy esq. The remaining nineteen minutes of the game were a blur.
I couldn't see through the tears of laughter. Indeed, I haven't laughed so much
at anything since. Not even Sutton.
Jinks
He scored a few of these did Eddie Akuamoah when he first came
onto the Ks scene in 1993. He'd pick up possession on the halfway line, turn the
first defender, run at & past the second defender & a third if need be, before
rounding the keeper & scoring from the tightest of angles. The most memorable
of the genre came at Harrow in his third or fourth game for the club, which inspired
the Ks fanzine of the time (a rather dull effort called the Searcher, or something)
to pre-print a number of Player of the Year forms with Eddie's name on in first
second & third place. He can't keep this up for ever, we thought. And, alas, we
were right. He gave us one reminder at Worthing four or five years ago. But he's
a different player now. Better, I suppose. But goals like that are of the past.
A couple of years previously, Roddy Brathwaite was consistently
threatening the wonder goal. Many were the times he'd beat four or five defenders
in & around the penalty box but just be unable to get a shot in. One day, we thought.
And we were right. A particularly hapless Grays Athletic were the recipients in
January 1991. With the Gulf War just about to start, Grays' moustachioed centre-half
was inevitably tagged Saddam Hussein. And he was one of about five defenders Roddy
left in his wake that particular afternoon. The final defender actually got a
touch to the shot, otherwise the keeper might have stopped it. But it was close
to the perfect goal. As the Surrey Comet so evocatively described it "Brathwaite
got the fourth from close range after a jinking run." No need to over-react, eh
lads?
What a Way to Die
And finally... a list of spectacular Ks goals could not possibly
omit Geoff Pitcher, could it? No, it couldn't. And one in particular leaps onto
this list. Partly because my seat in the press box afforded me the best possible
view. Partly because of the importance of the occasion. And partly because of
the silly cow (with all due respect) sat behind me.
It was the day in March 1998 when Ks went top of the league
at Gravesend. Jamie Ndah, bless him, equalised for Dulwich at Sutton & Ks just
needed a win to reach the lsthmian League summit Geoff Pitcher's 86th minute free-kick
from 25 yards clinched the points. But it was the first goal that I remember.
I've never seen a ball fly into the net quite like that. However far the keeper
stretched, & he made good ground, the ball was just that inch or two beyond him.
And Geoff only just got to the ball ahead of his marker. The pass back to him,
from Joe Francis on his Ks debut, wasn't of the best. So it was almost as if he
was winning a tackle. We went mad, of course. Both in the press box & behind the
goal. Which led to the dotty old girl behind me to ask "Have they ever seen a
goal scored before?" Perhaps when a Gravesend player scores from 20 yards with
ten minutes to go to put them top of the league, you'll react the... ah, hang
on...
Geoff s goal at Oxford City the night we won the league was
a bit special too, of course, 30 yards straight from the keeper's clearance &
all that. But the season finished on a Gary Patterson goal, his last minute (of
the season) winner at Sutton against Woking in the Surrey Senior Cup final replay.
That ball fairly flew in too, just beyond the keeper's reach. It was atonement
for the sins of 1991 when Ks abjectly surrendered to the same opposition in the
final of the same competition. And it was a perfect way to round off a damn-near
perfect season. Not a bad way to round off the article, too.
Mark M
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