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PAYING THE PENALTY - A NIGHT (NOT) TO REMEMBER
We've had another good FA Cup run this year, indeed we deserved
to be beating Southport in the 3rd Round the other week. The events of this article
happened after the 4th Qual Round Replay at home to treeless St Albans, where
we were taken to penalties. Not renowned for our penalty taking exploits, we feared
cup elimination. However, after some fine penalties (and save) we had won our
first ever penalty shoot-out, Onwards we marched, but some of us were made to
march longer than others…
With the replay being during my university term-time on a Tuesday
night, I had travelled by train from Southampton to Surbiton. With the game ending
late, and a couple of drinks later, I knew that I was pushing it to make the last
train. Fortunately for me Robbie was good enough to offer me a lift to Surbiton
station, Rich and Tim followed suit. Tim was clever enough (note sarcastic tone)
to direct Robbie to turn right out of Kingsmeadow, and so we had to go straight
to his place in Tolworth, as opposed to going VIA Surbiton. I now had under 20
mins to make my train.
Rich assured us that he knew a quick way from the 'suburbs
of Tolworth' to Surbiton. This 'amazingly quick' way, turned out to be back towards
New Maiden on the A3, and then towards Worcester Park, turning onto the A3 there.
As Surbiton is not on the A3 we unsurprisingly ended up in Tolworth, back at square
one just about. Rich still believes that he had cut off a huge chunk.
We had turned towards the direction of Worcester Park at New
Maiden roundabout and Robbie was 'driving fast' so that I could make my train.
Soon we saw flashing blue lights behind us. Rich pointed out that Robbie "really
wanted to stop". Robbie had been slightly distracted as he was busy lighting up.
Robbie was breathalised (negatively) and we were asked about the game we had just
been to. The policemen upon asking us this question were flooded with information,
such as when Gary Patterson's first illegal tackle was. Obviously convinced that
we weren't lying we were let on our way. Robbie was no longer able to 'drive fast',
and this made things slightly difficult as there were now about 5 minutes left
to the train. Somehow we just made it to the station in time, and I managed to
jump onto the train as it was leaving.
I was in the comfort of knowing that the last train from Surbiton
to Southampton does not require a change at Woking, and there were no 'change
here for...' messages from the driver, who was probably asleep. Expecting to be
going through the normal stations I was somewhat puzzled when the next stop was
Worplesdon, Presuming it to be the late night route I didn't panic. However, about
10 minutes later when the train actually terminated at Guildford, I just knew
that it wasn't going to be my night. Turns out it wasn't the last train - that
left at 01:30 - so I DID need to change at Woking.
When I asked the guard how to get back to Woking or Surbiton,
expecting a platform number, his response was, "taxi". With only 4p and a train
ticket in my pocket I knew that I was f*cked. Not fancying spending the night
somewhere in Guildford I had to find 'any' train. Indeed there was only one more
train that night, to Portsmouth. At least I knew that their station had a nice
cosy hall to kip in as opposed to the dump that I was in.
Got to Portsmouth at 01:30. Unfortunately the guard wanted
to lock up the station, and I wasn't allowed to stay. The sympathy and customer
care of South West Trains really showed through that night. As it was I spent
the next 4 hours simply wandering the streets of Portsmouth, taking the odd break
from the biting cold in phoneboxes. I upgraded and found a useful photobooth outside
the station in which I sat for a couple of hours, reading my away programmes,
as there obviously isn't much content in our home ones.
I was so pleased to catch the first train to Southampton. Some
train guard checked everyone's tickets at the station, yes, all four of us at
05:30. He said that mine would be fine. However, once on my train this sheep-shagging
Dave Jones lookalike t*sser of an inspector on the train said "no" to my ticket.
He informed me that as it was a Young Persons it would not be valid until 09:30,
and that my ticket was for the Woking route to Southampton and not the Guildford
way. I explained what had happened and how no-one had told me to change the night
before, leaving me to wander the streets through the night. He didn't want to
know. I'd withdrawn a tenner for a cab back from Southampton station, and I needed
it, as he asked for £6 for the fare, funny thing was I got a Young Persons discount
to £4. F*cking hypocrite.
Not pleased at all. Finally got to Halls and to sleep at 07:00.
Woke up at 16:00, having missed all lectures. Could (should) have just stayed
at home in Kingston. This isn't going to happen to me again, I'll make sure.
Ali
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